when did it become okay for us to think that we cant ever be alone..

i blame movies and music and the way we were bought up.. watching all those disney movies where they get together in the end and live happily ever after?

is there ever a happily ever after?

i just dont like how ive gotten to the point in my life where i feel like i need to have someone special in my life. we shouldnt be bought up in a world where we are made to believe that for us to be truly happy we need to have someone by our sides, to have a partner in this world, to love and be loved in return.

its ironic that in songs and in movies, they make out relationships and love to be the best things in the world, something that no one can live without. yet how many people have bad relationships built on no trust, cheating, lies, betrayal and just complete disrespect for one another.. thats not how any of this is supposed to be. when did it get like this?

im just having a tough time believing in any of this latetly. i wish i didnt have this idea in my head that if i dont have anyone, that my life is shit and lonely.. at the end of the day, i have a close group of friends who make me happier than anyone. its just at the end of the night its nice to have someone to go home with, i think thats what gets to me more than anything.. to watch other people go home together not just to have sex but just to be together, this isnt even about sex to me, its just having someone there to cuddle and be able to wake up and be the first thing you see in the morning. thats the best feeling in the world i think..

i have just been bought up my entire life to believe that when im at this age i will have found someone to take me out on dates, to meet my family, to meet their family, to do something special on valentines day, to go on holidays with and to just do nice things for each other because you just appreciate someone that much you would do anything for them.. and most of all take them out in public and caress them and just be that into each other that you dont care what other people think of you.

i havent stopped believing, im just stopping believing in certain things for a while.. why cant these situations just be easy.. when did it become all about playing games.. im sick of playing games.

it just basically comes down to what i think of myself as a person. am i too needy? do i expect too much of some people? but then i go back and think that the things i have been expecting and asking of late, are nothing, they are miniscuel in comparison to other things..

just to be appreciated.. is that so much to ask?